The Meaning Behind MENtality: Mastering your Authentic Self

Where do I begin?

Where I come from, mental health is never discussed, especially with men. “Man up,” “Stop crying,” and “Rub some dirt on it” are all common sayings I heard growing up in a small town in the South. Louisiana to be specific. Don’t get me wrong. Growing up in a small town has plenty of perks. Community, support, home cookin, 3 traffic lights- all great things about where I come from. However, the ways of being in this environment rarely lead men to grow into their authentic selves. Oftentimes, men are molded to work certain jobs and behave certain ways, resulting in closed-off attitudes, aggression, and the ole’ proverbial chip on the shoulder. The search for identity is often stunted, and the path to search for this identity is set long before anyone has a chance to venture out and find their authentic self. Erik Erikson explained that identity foreclosure often results when people identify with their parents strongly and take on their identity. Freud called this “introjection,” when people take other’s personality and unconsciously implement them into their own way of being. Both identity foreclosure and introjection can lead people into living an inauthentic lifestyle, and they may never know it. Anxiety, depression, and other painful issues in living may persist. Where does it end? Well, it starts with the tenets of MENtality.

Authenticity. What does that even mean?

As a former graduate student in clinical professional counseling, I was forced to look deep within myself every day for classes and to be able to provide future clients with the very best version of myself. This was tough. “WHO THE F**K AM I?” “WHY AM I HERE?” These were thoughts I screamed in my head often. Why was I, a MANLY MAN (whatever that means), studying to get in touch with feelings and provide a “safe space” for others? Well, my authentic self led me here. I’ve always been drawn to others and have always had compassion for the human condition. I enjoy people. I want people to live their life according to their own values and be able to truly be themselves. How can I help others become themselves when I didn’t have a clue about my inner self? I had many battles with myself to get to this point. The part of me that thought about masculinity in the sense of “people just need to suck it up and get on with it” was the part of me that adopted beliefs and values outside of my own self. Beliefs I picked up from family and society.

To understand authenticity means to take a good look in the mirror. How do you feel staring at yourself? What kind of questions fill your mind? Which emotions do you feel? If you can look into your own soul and know that your true self is on display for the audience, that is, the society surrounding you, that is authenticity. If you look at yourself and ask, “What am I doing here?” or “Who am I?” then you’re asking the right questions. If you feel anger or sadness, possibly about choices that led you to that very moment, it’s possible you’re questioning your authenticity.

On my journey of becoming, I’ve been apt to feel myself getting angry with the way mental health is displayed in the culture of men. MENtality is aimed specifically at men, although every human being is welcomed here. MENtality stands for Mental Empowerment and Nurturance through Authenticity, Learning, Insight, and Transparency. The purpose is simply to help fellow men lead more authentic and meaningful lifestyles, not only for the benefit of increased joy with life but also for the possibility of being a joy to those around them (e.g., spouses, children, siblings, etc.).

I hope you’ll join me in building a community aimed at cultivating a better space for men to find their true selves in a world that wishes to keep us closed off!

-J.R.